Improv 2, Week 10

My second improv for this week riffs Fagan's piece, "Lunacy."

Lunacy

A tub is that which would be king,
But we must cease to praise shallow water.
Too many baths are conceited. And then
There's that bathtub-addled Moon,
For whom Des Moines gleams like a suitor
Waving his wampum of prcelain and brass.
Drawn, now, to chrome and fiberglass,
She feels the pulle of neither sea nor stream.
The lakes have lost their glistening.
There are, instead, these sudsy ponds of men,
These steaming spas of marble and tile,
An immersed depression, laved,
And children mewling for their no-tears shampoo
When we're clean out, nothing to tide us over.


I love the nature-like feel of this piece in relation to a sense of royalty. I wanted to springboard the same themes but focusing on different aspects of nature and nobility. My riff ended up centering on a princess and the sun, rather than a king and the moon. I also found myself tying in words that related to the element of heat: rays, basking, misty, etc. I thought these really helped to enhance the vivid-ness of the poem as a whole.


Sol-acy

A bed is that which would be princess,
But we must begin to despise the sky’s depth.
Too many nimbus clouds drown. And then
There’s that sea-sated Sun,
For whom Princess Yue worships like a subject
Bowing her diadem of silk and linen.
Drawn, now, to ruffles and lace,
She feels the push of neither tar nor pavement.
The lights have lost their allure.
There are, however, the sweaty muscles of lumbermen,
These misty onsens of stone and water,
A basking elation, ecstatic,
And cubs purring for their winter stock
When we gut mackerel, nothing to soothe our bellies.