Improv 1, Week 8

The first improv for this week riffs Natasha Trethewey's "Myth"

I was asleep while you were dying.
It's as if you slipped through som rift, a hollow
I make between my slumber and my waking,

the Erebus I keep you in, still trying
not to let go. You'll be dead again tomorrow,
but in dreams you live. So I try taking

you back into morning. Sleep-heavy, turning,
my eyes open, I find you do not follow.
Again and again, this constant foraking.

*

Again and again, this constant foraking:
my eyes open, I find you do not follow.
You back into morning. Sleep-heavy, turning.

But in dreams you live. So I try taking,
not to let go. You'll be dead again tomorrow.
The Erebus I keep you in - still, trying -

I make you between my slumber and my waking.
It's as if you slipped through some rift, a hollow.
I was asleep while you were dying.


The admirable aspect of this format is that the poem is expressed beautifully and comprhensively forwards and backwards. One had to produce lines that read well enough on their own that they could work together to solidly construct a poem no matter how it is read. I believe that just about any arrangement of these lines for this piece could work to still make the poem comprehensible and powerful. I attempted to capture this in my riff as well.

Novel

I was reading while you were killing.
It's as if you crossed into Dante's realm,
a forbidden land unseen;

known by millions of people drilling
to the hull of the heart to reach the helm
of a murderer's hands when clean.

I want you back, but you keep resisting,
you only want to eliminate all that overwhelms
you, who fears anything that gleams.

*

You, who fears anything that gleams,
you only want to eliminate all that overwhelms.
I want you back, but you keep resisting.

Of a murderer's hands when clean-
to the hull of the heart, to reach the helm.
Known by millions of people drilling

a forbidden land unseen.
It's as if you crossed into Dante's realm.
I was reading while you were killing.